Rejection & and overall shitty day…..



I just got back from putting my cat to sleep.  Well, he wasn’t exactly my cat, but he was.  I had this roommate who I considered my “Heterosexual Life Mate” for a while.  Sabrina my African Queen.  Sometimes when I say that my girlfriend gets jealous, I know that even though she she wouldn’t admit it.  Anyway Sabrina my HLM moved out of the country, leaving her cat Kolangi in my care.  Kolangi was a bull dog of a cat, and I loved him.  He was old, blind in one eye, and getting arthritic.  The last few months he has lost probably half of his body weight.  Today when I brought him in he had gotten to the point he could hardly lift his head when I would call his name.  They euthanize him and I stayed in the room.  Thank God it went smoothly, his veins were hard to find, but once they found them he fell asleep, no muscle jerking or involuntary defecation like they told me (when they told me that I immediately thought of the south park episode where everything shits when it dies).  I got home and dragged out my alarm clock to the back yard and played Reggae while I buried him.  I think that is what his mom would have wanted seeing he was named after Sizzla a Reggae artist.    What is truly unfortunate is that Sabrina said she was going to come back to the US when we had a black president, and the polls are showing she might be visiting soon.

When I get back to work, after digging a grave, I check my email.  Rejection.  Again.  This time from the Chicago Underground Film Festival.  I am pissed off at this one.  Am I too underground for the CUFF?  It sort of sucks that I am not getting into festivals.  I can’t figure out what is the problem with the film.  Could it be the sex scene, could it be we point fingers at everyone and we don’t take sides?  People who have seen the film like it, and this is not just my friends.  The aggravating thing is you don’t get feedback, just rejection with  “There are many quality works that we  won’t be able to show. Unfortunately, we will not be able to program  your work this year.” If I had a dollar for every time I heard that I would have $10, enough to see a matinee the movies!

I was stupid to send in rough cuts, I know.  Especially when I have a fine cut now, 20 minutes shorter and much faster pace.  I was also stupid not to start this blog when I was doing the film.  I thing people would have been interested in how my life was, making a film on Asian massage parlors, do you have any idea what goes into that!


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